I’m a big supporter of journaling. It is the one habit that I can say, without hesitation, has changed my life. It wasn’t something I ever really wanted to do; many years ago, I was seeing a counselor and, quite frankly, she made me. Honestly, I was reluctant, but desperation for a breakthrough will make you do things you wouldn’t normally do.
One way I describe journaling is like cleaning out the infamous junk drawer in my house—you know the one, that just seems to accumulate the most random stuff. That is exactly how my mind feels: a cluttered mess of loose thoughts and “extra parts” I don’t know what to do with. Journaling is how I sort through the pile; it helps me figure out which thoughts to keep, which to discard, and which just need to be reorganized. It’s my way of practicing what Paul wrote: “Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind” (Romans 12:2). When the drawer of my mind gets too full and I need that clarity, I grab a pencil and paper and just let it all out.
Over the years, I have accumulated quite a collection of filled journals. I am a sentimental guy and love to go back and read them. Some people fear what they have written, but you can’t truly live in the present with fear of the past—let alone have true hope for the future. I’ve come to learn there are certain stories in our lives that need to be retold, even if it’s only to ourselves. There are other stories we need to be reminded of to see how far we’ve come. I’ve realized I have to be like the Psalmist who said, “I will remember the deeds of the Lord; yes, I will remember your wonders of old” (Psalm 77:11).
As I read, I’m reminded of amazing breakthroughs and healing, along with all the pain and suffering that preceded them. However, I also noticed a pattern—a loop. I saw similar prayers about the same struggles and frustrations that I wrote over and over again throughout the years. There were plenty of things to blame: people, circumstances, and injustices. And believe me, I had no problem doing so.
This loop is the mirror of humanity, and it all started in the Garden. The plot has not changed, only the characters. They grabbed the fruit. We grab the fruit. “So when the woman saw that the tree was good for food… she took of its fruit and ate” (Genesis 3:6). We are still repeating that same reach for control. There is no better place to understand humanity than right there.
1Now the serpent was more crafty than any other beast of the field that the LORD God had made. He said to the woman, “Did God actually say, ‘You shall not eat of any tree in the garden’?” 2And the woman said to the serpent, “We may eat of the fruit of the trees in the garden, 3but God said, ‘You shall not eat of the fruit of the tree that is in the midst of the garden, neither shall you touch it, lest you die.’” 4But the serpent said to the woman, “You will not surely die. 5For God knows that when you eat of it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil.” 6So when the woman saw that the tree was good for food, and that it was a delight to the eyes, and that the tree was to be desired to make one wise,b she took of its fruit and ate, and she also gave some to her husband who was with her, and he ate. 7Then the eyes of both were opened, and they knew that they were naked. And they sewed fig leaves together and made themselves loincloths.
8And they heard the sound of the LORD God walking in the garden in the coolc of the day, and the man and his wife hid themselves from the presence of the LORD God among the trees of the garden. 9But the LORD God called to the man and said to him, “Where are you?”d 10And he said, “I heard the sound of you in the garden, and I was afraid, because I was naked, and I hid myself.” 11He said, “Who told you that you were naked? Have you eaten of the tree of which I commanded you not to eat?” 12The man said, “The woman whom you gave to be with me, she gave me fruit of the tree, and I ate.” 13Then the LORD God said to the woman, “What is this that you have done?” The woman said, “The serpent deceived me, and I ate.”